Have the Best Stories... Travel

Arguably the best stories in life come from travel. When our individual preconceptions clash with those of a foreign country, we are presented with surprise, humor and potentially unending degrees of confusion.

I had my first real taste of a completely foreign culture when I was 25. I went to Korea for a summer to teach English in small town in southern South Korea called Yeo-chun.

The experience was outstanding. I had an apartment that overlooked the seaside, made plenty of new friends, and took every opportunity to dive into the local culture –“when in Rome…”

However, everyday, there was something new that shook my preconceptions about the world and my place in it. Here are some of my stories.

English Classes: Teaching was one of the most fulfilling things I’d ever done. All of my students were absolutely fantastic. My classes ranged from kindergarten to university and professional levels. My students all progress at remarkable speeds with the exception of one thing. Regardless of their grade level, G's were pronounced like Z's and Z's as G's. And, if you worked to switch the two, they both came out sounding like "dwee", which is how V was pronounced.

Student Riots: I’d fly up to Seoul almost every other weekend to meet up with friends. A half dozen times throughout the summer, we’d turn around some random corner only to be engulfed in a thick cloud of tear gas. Almost every weekend, young adult students rioted against young adult soldiers. It seemed so ironic. Regardless, it was good fun to see my friends turn into a pathetic mass of tears. I am sure I looked just as sad. I think the store clerks gave us refuge just so they could share in the laugh.

Sun Tanning: Simple... sun tanning was considered indecent before May 31st and after August 31st. If you did it in the off-season, even by one day, expect to be frowned at. And by frowned at, I mean get a look of disappointment that’ll rip the very fabric of your soul.

Mosquitoes: They were organized, in numbers, and out to drain your entire circulatory system. I had an infallible layer of netting over my windows. Regardless, when I woke up in the morning, there were usually two dozen of them on my bedroom walls fat with my blood. I’d take my revenge, but my room started to look like something out of Amityville Horror. I had to think twice about adding “clean blood off my walls” to my desk top calendar at work.

Soju: Korea produces a rice-based spirit called Soju. To date, I have never had a worse hangover in my life. Certain brands should be labeled with that toxic symbol you see on bleach containers. The director of my school had to be hospitalized for a couple days for drinking too much one night. Strangely, I felt a touch responsible. In some ways I think my western ways may have been a touch liberal for him and the local community.

Kind Gestures: I left the school one late evening at the same time as one of my female students. Since it was dark, I decided I’d be responsible and walk her to the bus stop just around the corner. The next morning I was met at the school by two policemen who were there to extradite me back to Canada. Apparently, alleged fraternization with female students is a contemptible offense. To get me off the hook, it took the school director to explain western cultural differences and a guarantee from me that I’d never do it again.

Food: Food is not what food is at home. To highlight some of the differences, here are a few examples:
• Live seafood: A live octopus is taken out of its water tank. The tentacles are immediately cleaved off. You put one of the wiggling digits in your mouth, chew, swallow and chase it down with a shot of soju. It's a lot like doing tequila shots, but in reverse. When doing shots of tequila, you bite into a lemon to hide the taste of the liquor. With octopus, you take a shot of Soju to numb the feeling of the tentacle wiggling all the way down your throat.
• Stir-fried silkworm larvae (Bondegi): They are fried in a big wok and sold by the Dixie cup. You eat them as you would popcorn in a movie theater. A friend and I tried them together. The experience hardly lasted one second after my friend opened his mouth and I equated it to the textures and tastes in my mouth.
• Dog (Kegogi): Enough said.
• Raw livestock parts: Again, enough said.
• Chicken: You think you are safe with this one. Think again. Never count your chickens till you see it hasn't been boiled in a pressure cooker to the point it's turned into poultry gel.

Driving: Driving in Korea is a fine art. Drive fast and honk your horn at as many things as you can (moving or not). Shoulder checks are optional. Here’s a little anecdote. A friend and I went for a car ride with one of our adult students. He somehow managed to get into a fender-bender with the only other car on this nearly abandoned country road. My friend and I walked home willingly.

The Mentally Insane: I have not been able to confirm this. I’ve been told the homeless mentally insane are made to wear a white square eye patch over one eye. I saw the eye patch and the crazy person wearing it. However, it just seemed so very strange to be true.

Fumigation: Fumigation is done periodically throughout apartment complexes with infestations. However, if you can not understand evacuation warnings blasted out over outdoor loudspeakers in Korean, expect to find yourself lost, choking and near death as you stumble five flights, completely blind, down the only available stairwell to safety. (Note: Important! Fumigation smoke does not leave a thin layer of clear air one foot from the floor as we've all been told in case of a house fire).

Of course, stories aren’t really worth anything if you don’t share them. I invite you to share the moments that made you laugh, cry or shake your head.